Does Anyone Give A Shit About A New Metallica Album?

Feb 06 2014 Published by under Music

I sure don’t.

These sellout posers haven’t made a relevant album since 1988. That’s 25 years of pure drek.

Lars says in a Rolling Stone article that they’re taking their time writing. Would anyone care if Rolling Stone weren’t drumming up interest? They’ll make out like making an album takes longer now because they’re older and have other projects and families and bullshit like that. Really the album is taking so long because they’re out of usable ideas. They claim in the RS article that they have hundreds of pieces of music, yet no album. Sounds to me like even they are starting to realize they sound like shit.

The biggest of the “Big Four” thrash bands? Hardly. I’m much more interested in the new music Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax have released in recent years than the crap Metallica has farted out for the last quarter-century. These guys are living off four albums they made from ’83 to ’88.

Rumor is that Metallica is the reason there has been no new “Big Four” tour. That is a joke considering how terrible they sound live, and how good the “Other Three” sound. You’re better off seeing a Metallica cover band at a local bar than Metallica at this point. I’ve heard cover bands that sound more like Metallica than Metallica.

I think they should be dropped from the “Big Four” at this point. Perhaps replace them with Overkill or Manowar.

Do you give a shit about a new Metallica album? Comment as you see fit.

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Miley Cyrus SEO

Oct 08 2013 Published by under media, Music

This is a shameless attempt to boost traffic to my blog by featuring “Miley Cyrus” as a search term.

This whole Miley vs. Sinead feud has me laughing. Yes, after the fourth open letter to Miley, Sinead is starting look a little kooky, but you must admit she had a point at first. Everything Miley has done since the infamous “twerking” episode at the MTV Video Music Awards has more in common with prostitution than with music.

Considering past VMAs featured classic music moments as Madonna and Britney Spears sucking face, does this surprise anyone? Between the VMAs and those stupid reality shows, the only way women get on MTV is by prostituting themselves and selling their bodies. I don’t want to sound like a curmudgeon, but no one is talking about the music on MTV.

Don’t get me wrong, prostitution has its place – in a whorehouse. But as long as MTV reduces its female artists to performing dry-hump strip teases and they willingly oblige, it’s hard to take the women of today’s MTV seriously as musicians. And doesn’t it seem like working for Disney just served to prepare Miley & Britney for a career in selling their bodies? And why would their parents consent to this? Oh, right – money. Enough money to buy your daughter’s integrity.

Real women rockers – Anne Wilson, Pat Benetar, Joan Jett, Sinead, Stevie Nicks, Adele – broke barriers by making great music, and are infinitely more beautiful for not objectifying themselves. They don’t need to.

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R.I.P. Ray Manzarek

May 20 2013 Published by under Music

We lost one of rock’s true greats today. Ray Mazarek died today, at age 74.

The Doors are one of the greatest and most influential bands in rock history. Apart from Jim’s singing, Ray’s keyboard playing pretty much defined their sound.

The Doors may have been the first rock band with mainstream success that featured keyboards as the lead instrument – a departure from the guitar, which dominated in pretty much every rock band before them. They set the mold for a rock band featuring a keyboard.

Guitar still reigns king, but for any band starting out with keyboard-dominated sound, regardless of genre, the shadow of The Doors and Manzarek’s playing looms large.

Stronger than dirt.

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God Sounded Great Opening For Megadeth

Jan 29 2012 Published by under Music

God Opening for Megadeth

There’s God and his band, Motorhead, opening for Megadeth, as Gigantour stopped in New York tonight. That would be the seventh time I’ve seen Motorhead, who have never disappointed.

Undercard acts – Lacuna Coil (Goth-Metal) and Volbeat (Rockabilly-Metal) – Both sounded great. I had only heard lacuna Coil a few times and had never heard Volbeat before, but I saw enough to make me want to hear more.

Megadeth, as always, was superlative. Dave Mustaine’s guitar playing is as good as it’s ever been. Hearing those gems of musicianship and Dave sing his genius lyrics live was nothing short of stunning.

So I don’t come off as too much of a fanboy here, I will express my disappointment that they did not play Rust In Peace or Skin O’ My Teeth. Near the end of the show, Dave quipped “if this was L’Amours [sic], we’d play all night.” Of course, back in the days when they would have played L’Amour, the tickets weren’t quite as expensive. The times are changing.

Other than that, there isn’t anything negative to say. I did a lot of headbanging to four great metal bands tonight. One thing I took away from this: It was great to see kids who were not even alive when Megadeth was in their heyday banging their heads and singing every word. The next generation of headbangers just might be ready to accept the torch. Even if they don’t know what L’Amour(s) is, or how cheap a ticket is supposed to be.

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RIP, Carl Gardner, Lead Singer of the Coasters

Jun 14 2011 Published by under Music

Carl Gardner, lead singer of the Coasters, has died at age 83. [AP via Yahoo]

The Coasters are hands-down one of my favorite bands of the late-fifties-early-sixties. A bouncy, fun sound, and some of the wittiest lyrics of that musical era. Their songs featured stories, characters, and plots, juxtaposed against some serious jamming. I strongly recommend you get acquainted with their music, if you haven’t already. The AP obit quotes from their page in the Rock and Roll Hall of fame:

Beneath the humor the songs often made incisive points about American culture for those willing to dig a little deeper.

I’m reminded of the wise-cracking title character of Charlie Brown,or the parental dialogue of Yakety Yak.

A couple of other gems from their great oeuvre:

Along Came Jones:

About how everything on TV has essentially the same plot. Also perhaps the best use of a wood block ever in popular music. It’s barely audible on this live version, but those of you who’ve heard the single know what I’m talking about.

Poison Ivy:

You’re gonna need an ocean . . . of Calamine Lotion. Another great, singable pop culture reference.

Thanks for the music, Carl.

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